This Floating Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the TV Disappointments of the Year.
Looking back, we consider the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. From awkward sequels to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final season began, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the last series. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, viewers undeniably found joy dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’
But that was practically the least of this show's problems. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was difficult to know where to start listing the flaws. The laughably wooden dialogue? The tedious glorification of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate parade of cliches? Acting so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charming but flippant egotist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.
The Gangster Drama
Dodgy figures convening in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.
In truth, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various London rogues which seemed a bit basic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are clearly interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was akin to consuming a marketing brochure. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this cagey non-event of a series.
The Inheritance
It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.
The Knox Dramatisation
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lumbering from strangely breezy, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for explicit escapades as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.